The owner, creator of J. Crew is dead
today. He managed to tap into and promote that 80's Yuppie culture
where looking like a hip, vibrant but not stuffy Reagan Republican
was ticket. J. Crew was for those who couldn't afford Ralph Lauren
but weren't as villainous or despicably common as those who could
only afford the Gap. But one day though! Their aspirations might
take them into that Lauren Club via the front door!
I never wore J Crew and the closest I
came to Newport/Amagansett Long Island chic was when I bought a pair
of white Dockers because I could't find a pair of painter's pants
with all the pockets and loops. I liked them because I too, was
infected by what was cool back in the 80's and 90's...to a point. The
problem arose where that I, being a guy, had minimal knowledge on
keeping whites “white” and found that multiple washings on “hot”
with Clorox turns any quality fabric into burlap eventually. Any
stain, mark, or smudge on anything white exposes you as lowborn, a
pig and a sinner! Ah...it was too much work to stay pure!
**
McCoy stadium each July 3rd
holds their largest fireworks show and being a local I could manage a
close seat without having to deal with the extra 70,000 influx of
tourists that show up for this one event. I had my perch at a
friend's business where it sits above and back some from the natural
depression in the land where McCoy sits. At the time I was driving a
Chrysler Sebring convertible because I liked ragtops when one of the
wives of my friends comes up and makes a snarky comment about it. She
had asked if I “still wasn't past” that youthful, 20-Something
lifestyle I had so enjoyed when I was a young man. I was 43 at the
time.
She comments:
“You should get an SUV.” and points
to all the SUV's parked in the lot. Everyone it seemed who used my
friend's lot to watch the show was driving an SUV.
“Why would I want that?” I say.
Lisa then expressed that stultifying
middle class practicality, “Well, you can fit many kids in them or
fill it with groceries/sports equipment or say pack it for the
vacation.” There was also a heavily laden hint that I wasn't
conforming that I swore I heard in her voice. My not driving an SUV
was an abnormality that must be corrected. It would explain why I
saw so many SUV's parked there...everyone else had one!
“Lisa, know what I see when I look at
an SUV? I see bigger tires, larger diameter exhaust systems, larger
oil filters....more oil...MORE COST! What's the MPG on that monster
you drive over there? How much does Pawtucket slam you on the taxes
for that?”
You could almost hear her brain going
“beeeeeeeeeeeep” as it flat lined. My comment made NO sense to
her. I go on to explain that in order to live “the good life,”
it takes not just more money, a lot more, but also the ability to cut
costs and NOT play that game of “Keeping Up with the Jones's.“ It
also takes the guts to tell your friends to “go to hell” if they
pressure you into a life you think is maniacal.
“You run your own life like a
business Lisa...cut the costs where u can, on what you want...AND
make the money too. All I see from some of you is that you kill
yourselves just trying to make more and more money to maintain what
you have or to show off even pricier vehicles, vacations or schools
for your kids. God forbid you start lagging...they'll talk
about you! You won't get invited to all the cool parties!”
Fuckin' High School all over again. I
know it takes a while to shed that conformity once out of your teens,
but you hopefully do. But to have it in your late 30's and beyond?
Ugh!
**
Another instance where I thought was
cute. It always seems to happen at any social event where you have to
wear something other than a tee shirt. I then opt for a Ralph Lauren
polo...HA!
This past summer at a BBQ I was talking
about relocating. I am getting older and can feel it...elderliness,
looming retirement isn't that far off. Hell, I've noticed that it
takes me longer to do things now but haven't till now admitted it. I
am aware and others will be as well in time. So, as you get older you
need an easier life, or one that has less BS to it. Hopefully you can
swing it w/o the sneaky torpedoes that can hit it and thwart you from
your goal. A heap of good luck always helps instead.
I wander...anyways, I was talking about
relocating, preferably to Delaware as it's tax structure is amazingly
simple and LOW. Add to that, a smaller home and smaller life in
general. Due to Delaware's easy tax law, damn near every major
corporation in the US flags their business out of there. The real
estate taxes in many parts of Delaware make my Pawtucket seem like a
fiefdom ruled by a cruel, tyrannical Medieval Lord hell bent on
taking my youngest daughter AND my last penny. (Shit...now where have
I heard Pawtucket...or Rhode Island for that matter described as a
fiefdom...MK? You?). The big thing for many retirees is to lower
costs and usually the huge one is real estate expenses and taxes. I
won't get into medical expenses that may crop up and easily outstrip
what you pay in taxes...THAT you can't escape unless you move to
Canada or the EU...and I ain't going to where the winters are crueler
nor can I speak fluent Wallonian Dutch.
I was telling this relocation idea to
“John” and he eyes me in a funny way. “You want to go
smaller? A smaller house, car...everything?
That's not very American, is it?”
No joke, he said that...“not very
American.” It's true huh? America...BIGGER and BETTER is the cry!
John, in his own way, was going bigger and better by running his
business, ever expanding, ever working 7 days a week to make it
happen. It afforded him the vacation to New Zealand, the kid's
private school and etc. I wonder if he remembers about bitching
about the heating costs of that McMansion of a house he owns in
Dighton? I do. He also drives a monster SUV but just has one kid. I
guess the empty seats and space are for effect.
IF..and this is a god damn big IF...I
make it to retirement, old age w/o life torpedoing my ship due to
God-Knows-What, or say the shitty longevity my family seems to have
where I have so far, happened to outlive most all, I'd like to find
myself in less expensive circumstances, surf casting off a dock in
Lewes, Delaware, in white Ralph Lauren ensemble.
Cut your costs, screw bigger and
better..and I can dress like I'm from Amagansett, strolling up and
down the boardwalk of Rehoboth Beach, fingering my nose without a
care knowing my tax bill for the land and house is a measly $400 for
the entire year. All of that without having to wipe myself out by living beyond my means to impress.
