Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Aspirational Living



The owner, creator of J. Crew is dead today. He managed to tap into and promote that 80's Yuppie culture where looking like a hip, vibrant but not stuffy Reagan Republican was ticket. J. Crew was for those who couldn't afford Ralph Lauren but weren't as villainous or despicably common as those who could only afford the Gap. But one day though! Their aspirations might take them into that Lauren Club via the front door!

I never wore J Crew and the closest I came to Newport/Amagansett Long Island chic was when I bought a pair of white Dockers because I could't find a pair of painter's pants with all the pockets and loops. I liked them because I too, was infected by what was cool back in the 80's and 90's...to a point. The problem arose where that I, being a guy, had minimal knowledge on keeping whites “white” and found that multiple washings on “hot” with Clorox turns any quality fabric into burlap eventually. Any stain, mark, or smudge on anything white exposes you as lowborn, a pig and a sinner! Ah...it was too much work to stay pure!

**

McCoy stadium each July 3rd holds their largest fireworks show and being a local I could manage a close seat without having to deal with the extra 70,000 influx of tourists that show up for this one event. I had my perch at a friend's business where it sits above and back some from the natural depression in the land where McCoy sits. At the time I was driving a Chrysler Sebring convertible because I liked ragtops when one of the wives of my friends comes up and makes a snarky comment about it. She had asked if I “still wasn't past” that youthful, 20-Something lifestyle I had so enjoyed when I was a young man. I was 43 at the time.

She comments:

“You should get an SUV.” and points to all the SUV's parked in the lot. Everyone it seemed who used my friend's lot to watch the show was driving an SUV.

“Why would I want that?” I say.

Lisa then expressed that stultifying middle class practicality, “Well, you can fit many kids in them or fill it with groceries/sports equipment or say pack it for the vacation.” There was also a heavily laden hint that I wasn't conforming that I swore I heard in her voice. My not driving an SUV was an abnormality that must be corrected. It would explain why I saw so many SUV's parked there...everyone else had one!

“Lisa, know what I see when I look at an SUV? I see bigger tires, larger diameter exhaust systems, larger oil filters....more oil...MORE COST! What's the MPG on that monster you drive over there? How much does Pawtucket slam you on the taxes for that?”

You could almost hear her brain going “beeeeeeeeeeeep” as it flat lined. My comment made NO sense to her. I go on to explain that in order to live “the good life,” it takes not just more money, a lot more, but also the ability to cut costs and NOT play that game of “Keeping Up with the Jones's.“ It also takes the guts to tell your friends to “go to hell” if they pressure you into a life you think is maniacal.

“You run your own life like a business Lisa...cut the costs where u can, on what you want...AND make the money too. All I see from some of you is that you kill yourselves just trying to make more and more money to maintain what you have or to show off even pricier vehicles, vacations or schools for your kids. God forbid you start lagging...they'll talk about you! You won't get invited to all the cool parties!”

Fuckin' High School all over again. I know it takes a while to shed that conformity once out of your teens, but you hopefully do. But to have it in your late 30's and beyond? Ugh!

**

Another instance where I thought was cute. It always seems to happen at any social event where you have to wear something other than a tee shirt. I then opt for a Ralph Lauren polo...HA!

This past summer at a BBQ I was talking about relocating. I am getting older and can feel it...elderliness, looming retirement isn't that far off. Hell, I've noticed that it takes me longer to do things now but haven't till now admitted it. I am aware and others will be as well in time. So, as you get older you need an easier life, or one that has less BS to it. Hopefully you can swing it w/o the sneaky torpedoes that can hit it and thwart you from your goal. A heap of good luck always helps instead.

I wander...anyways, I was talking about relocating, preferably to Delaware as it's tax structure is amazingly simple and LOW. Add to that, a smaller home and smaller life in general. Due to Delaware's easy tax law, damn near every major corporation in the US flags their business out of there. The real estate taxes in many parts of Delaware make my Pawtucket seem like a fiefdom ruled by a cruel, tyrannical Medieval Lord hell bent on taking my youngest daughter AND my last penny. (Shit...now where have I heard Pawtucket...or Rhode Island for that matter described as a fiefdom...MK? You?). The big thing for many retirees is to lower costs and usually the huge one is real estate expenses and taxes. I won't get into medical expenses that may crop up and easily outstrip what you pay in taxes...THAT you can't escape unless you move to Canada or the EU...and I ain't going to where the winters are crueler nor can I speak fluent Wallonian Dutch.

I was telling this relocation idea to “John” and he eyes me in a funny way. “You want to go smaller? A smaller house, car...everything? That's not very American, is it?”

No joke, he said that...“not very American.” It's true huh? America...BIGGER and BETTER is the cry! John, in his own way, was going bigger and better by running his business, ever expanding, ever working 7 days a week to make it happen. It afforded him the vacation to New Zealand, the kid's private school and etc. I wonder if he remembers about bitching about the heating costs of that McMansion of a house he owns in Dighton? I do. He also drives a monster SUV but just has one kid. I guess the empty seats and space are for effect.

IF..and this is a god damn big IF...I make it to retirement, old age w/o life torpedoing my ship due to God-Knows-What, or say the shitty longevity my family seems to have where I have so far, happened to outlive most all, I'd like to find myself in less expensive circumstances, surf casting off a dock in Lewes, Delaware, in white Ralph Lauren ensemble.

Cut your costs, screw bigger and better..and I can dress like I'm from Amagansett, strolling up and down the boardwalk of Rehoboth Beach, fingering my nose without a care knowing my tax bill for the land and house is a measly $400 for the entire year. All of that without having to wipe myself out by living beyond my means to impress.