Monday, July 14, 2014

Another One Lost



People make the best topics to talk about. When one of your group has to go home, invariably we all start talking about him/her once they've left. It's not always spiteful, it's just what people do. One time, while at work, I looked at everyone and said: “So, who do we scar up tonight? Who's not working today? We'll talk about them!”

I do this..YOU do this..we all do.

**

If a new relationship lasts long enough and I mean beyond the first couple of months, there comes a time when the guy start to change. He becomes tame.

I listened while a male friend lamented the loss of one his friends to a girl. “God, he's changed so much...I miss the old Pauly. He no longer has that 'edge' anymore.”

Girls are elusive. The demands they can make on you are at first small, slight...almost inconsequential. They are slowly building a nest and training their new beaus to become stable Dads. While they do this they also keep other guys on their fingers in case this one will not work.

There was one epiphany I had many years ago that alerted me to my quickening descent into pussywhip-dom. I found myself down in the cellar, ironing a shirt. I never ironed a shirt in my life unless there was a job interview, wedding or funeral. If you just hang it up, the wrinkles fall out in time, well, enough of them.

I then started to think. What else have I been doing that's not in my personal repertoire? I thought back and found that I had re-prioritized my friends against a girl I was smitten with. Blue fishing off of some mud flat in Warren at 2 AM was quashed so I could be up early enough to spend the day around Washington county beaches. She shopped the tourist shops and I walked behind her trying to stifle the boredom. I wondered how much fun the guys had had the night before and how I was not there.

The big change is in how you dress. Single guys rank clothing by “it's not too dirty.” That's good enough. If you can shove a tee shirt into your face, inhale and not smell reeking sweat, it's still good!

“Here. Put these on...” is what I was told once at a Nordstroms once. I come out of the changing room and I look very neat. I was a well kept upper-middle class guy in khakis and a nice Burberry Poplin shirt with a high thread count. I stood there like a statue. The stiff demeanor comes from years of experience with Mom. You are dressed up as a young boy and then told, with the threat of DEATH, not to “spoil it.” So you stand there or sit on the couch, hoping not to disturb all the work Mom has done. The other thought I had was, “Uh-oh...I'm slowly being absorbed by the blob! I'm being broken in!”

There was a time I put my foot down on one issue though and that was Pink Floyd. They had been touring the US in 1994 and were coming to Foxboro and I had tickets. I had told her a couple of weeks before, that if she wasn't ready to go exactly at 6PM, I was going to leave her ass there. This must've simmered in her because I basically told her, “You are worth NOTHING to me that night and I'll throw “us” into the garbage in an instant when it come to this.” I could perceive her annoyance with that in her. I was a huge Floyd fan and how many times do you get to see this band play? I could see her pretty much any other time.

She was punctual that night though.

“How OLD are these guys? Who's the guy with the white hair? How come the guitarist is a fat pig? “You can't dance to this!” Is what she had to say about it.

“Honey...they were part of the first psychedelic scene from the 60's. Carnaby Street! They came out along with Beatles's “Revolver,” Beach Boys “Pet Sounds!”

I should've guessed...a girl born in in 1976 wasn't going to know..or I was being made to pay for my independence..or both.

**


Ok, I guess some domestication is ok, just some. But the fun in being a male is still keeping part of that wolf in you. The part that allows you to grow your beard out for three days and carouse with the pack once in a while.  

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