So Long Ago...

To you, this guy is just an old, gray and balding science teacher. To me, it's a shock.

When I knew him, he had a full head of thick dark hair and a goatee that was similar. The only thing I recognize about him in that picture were his naturally squinty eyes. Don't take that as a insult, he was a great guy. He was one of those guys who when he took off his glasses, his eyes were even more pronounced. But today, wow...I never imagined him getting old. I didn't imagine my getting old either. How did that happen?

I had this teacher for biology class at St. Rays. It was an enjoyable class due to his love of fun and enthusiasm.  It was where I had my Irish Catholic religion crushed finally too. The scientists and the field had much better explanations about everything vs. any priest I ran into. Huh, my attendance at a Catholic high school helped to ruin my faith. Go figure. Ah, it was on it's way to desolation anyway before I got there.

Like any bio class, it was full of cabinets full of chemicals, microscopes and dead animals in chloroform. Also there was a terrarium that housed some toads, salamanders and the such. One day, we come to class to find one of the toads dead. Our teacher then says, “He'll stay there till he rots!” He was going to show us all about the  carbon and the nitrogen cycles. Ewww. We eventually asked him if the decomposition would breed disease. He then tells us as long as we don't touch it or breathe it, there's no problem.

That lasted about a day and half before administration got wind of that. Then again, they allowed a science fair in the gymnasium that featured some kid who had Petri dishes full of anaerobic bacteria. The other biology teacher, a Mr. Duluk, warned all of us not to go near it. He eventually taped up the dishes with that clear tape they use at FedEx for packaging.

Another feature of the biology classroom was a gardening shelving thingy. It had shelves with various plants on them that were bathed with grow lights that gave off a purplish glow. The only time we used the plants was to see photosynthesis in action when we plucked the leaves and looked at them under a microscope.

Being the little, asymmetrical terrorist I was (read up on how I flattened my Dad's tires!) I thought of a goofy trick I could try with that planter. I would shove marijuana seeds into the dirt and just shut my mouth.

That I did. I managed to find a couple of minutes where no one was in the room and I think I got about 15 of the seeds planted in the various pots. For a week, when class let out, we/I passed the planter and I shot a look to see if any germinated. Eventually they did.

Success!

The fun part would be how high these things would get before anyone would notice.

I was surprised, they were about two to three inches tall and still no one noticed. I finally brought attention to them because I was getting itchy for them to be discovered. What good's a punchline if you don't deliver it?

“Mr. Gray...What's that growing in there? You plant something new?” I did this while there was a clot of kids hanging by the door. You always need an audience for jokes!

He came over, looked and had a quizzical look on his face. I believe he wasn't so sure of what they were.

“They look like jungle plants...don't they? Are they from the tropics?” I continue.

Then the realization comes to his face. He then shoots me the most awful “I KNOW IT WAS YOU” look but he couldn't prove anything. I should've stood there, with a sheepish smile waving “Hi” at him. I didn't. I just over acted my astonishment as every other kid there did.

“Who could've done this?” I ask.

Mike M. who was with me, jabs me in the ribs. I deny everything, of course.

Perhaps the next story would be about the firearms I knew people kept in their lockers at good Ol' St. Rays. No, no...there wasn't about to be Columbine episode nor was anyone out to gun anyone else. It was more of show and tell. PS. I never owned a firearm then so it wasn't me! I just cultivated pot.