Click and Play the Mood Music Needed Here
You
know them. You have too if you drive. Aggressive guys in over sized
pickup trucks. A couple of months ago on an early Sunday morning, W.
and I were heading to Mt Watatic on the Mass/NH border. Most of the
ride consisted of riding up 146 and then 190 and it probably wasn't
even 7 AM yet.
There
was no rush to get there as this was a for fun and entertainment.
Just lay back and we'll get there soon enough. The mountain ain't
going anywhere. It's Sunday morning and a normal
person would have a casual attitude. Hence that song I posted up top.
The song nails it right on the button.
But...
As
we were going up 146, winding it's way through the woods, it was
pretty empty that early. On occasion we'd see low clouds rolling up
the hills as the sun was just starting to burn them off. Other
drivers were few and far between. I was doing the speed limit because
I know how bored small town cops are and they would like nothing
better than to pull me over. Being a cop in Millbury can't provide
much in the way of excitement. (Bet you don't know where Millbury is,
neither did I till we drove through it).
Well,
for some reason a young guy in one of those pick up trucks that have
grills that look like their purpose was the same as the “hedge hog”
teeth on Sherman tanks in WW2, to bulldoze down anything it's path,
gets up right on my ass. He's tailgating me within a couple of feet.
This is odd as there is plenty of room on the entire highway to drive
on.
I'm
looking in the rear view mirror and think, then comment to W., “God,
here's another one.” Within 30 seconds he swings into the left
lane, hammers down the accelerator and takes off down the highway
pushing 90 with the engine of his truck so revved up I can hear it
suck air into the intake.
I
start shouting through the windshield. “It's Sunday MORNING kid!
RELAX!”
“W,
I see these guys all the time. I don't think
there's a moment when they're NOT waving their dicks around and especially when they're
behind the wheel! Even on a Sunday morning!”
We
get to Watatic mountain and enjoy the rest of the day.
**
Today's
Sunday morning...
Winter's
coming. I have been busy buttoning up the yard, house and whatnot so
I don't have to do it when it's 30 degrees and snowing. So, at times,
I have to make a run to Home Depot to be overcharged for things.
Coming back, I have to drive over a bridge where below, the Amtrak
Acella rides by. For you locals, you know this is Newport Ave by the
Market Basket. You also know that anyone driving south from that
stretch in Attleboro can usually hit that bridge still doing 50mph
and then be completely surprised when they crest the hill, and see,
the traffic and RED LIGHT on Cottage Street.
But
it's Sunday morning today and as I leave Home Depot, climb that hill
and what do I see on the empty road behind me? Another Big Balls pick
up truck that's all jacked up riding up onto my tail. Of course, he
nearly skids to slow down but doesn't go into the
other empty lane till we're nearly at the red light, which is
turning yellow. He blows through it, with AUTHORITY! I then yell out
the window, “Tough guy! I bet you got the BIGGEST DICK in RI...You
faggot!”
He
didn't hear me. How could he with that diesel engine roaring? The few
people on the sidewalk by Honey Dew donuts did though. Whoops! Not
what they were expecting to hear at 7 AM on a Sunday morn. Great,
now I'M the one shattering the peace of a Sunday morning...
If you have a short, very tiny penis, you MUST get one of these.
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