(Disclaimer,
and it's a damn shame I have to say it but there are many who are too
duh duh to get it. I can write pretty dryly and the less clever can't
see that. I'm being tongue in cheek here! I also claim my First
Amendment rights)
Transgenders,
gay, lesbian, transsexuals and anyone that identifies as a giraffe
are all accepted, at least in a court of law they will be. It's
fairly amazing achievement considering about 50 years ago you could
be arrested for being any of the above. The State of New York used
to bust your door in if they had a court order accusing you of being
a homosexual. Being dragged out into the open like that could ruin
your career and life.
How
things have changed.
But...but...still
even today, if you're an older male and you look two and half seconds
a bit too long at a college girl...you're a LECH! A DIRTY OLD MAN! A
DEGENERATE! A DEVIANT! For SHAME! Don't you have ANY decency?!
(By
the way, I've seen older women look at college girls too, not out of
any lesbian attraction, but out of pure JEALOUSY)
So
when do Dirty Ol' Men achieve acceptance like everyone else has?
We're tired of being oppressed! Damn! Cougars, the female versions of
us, are accepted! They're cheered on! We dirty old men want Federal
protection! We want our RIGHTS! It shouldn't be just for old,
millionaire ex rock stars who marry 40 years younger!
You
know who has the hardest times with this and most won't admit it but
you can read their faces when it happens...and it does
happen? Married guys with older daughters who leer that 2.5 seconds
longer than they should at their daughter's female friends. I once
called out a friend who eyeballed his 20 year old daughter's friend
and he became wholly flustered and spouted a line of denials when I
mentioned it to him. A guy looking at pretty woman has the same look
as a wolf has looking at elk. Want, desire and drooling hunger. I
know the look! Well, Ha! Too late! I busted him doing it! He had the
look as if he was staring at an elk with a lame leg that couldn't run
away. And if you're a Dad and your 20 Something daughter brings
friends over, don't deny it, I've seen it too many times. All it
takes is ONE glance!
When
I was younger, and I mean “40” younger than the “pushing
retirement age” I am now, I was sitting in my favorite Celtic Pub
bar, when a 20 Something guy next to me opens up and asks a question
of me.
“Why
do guys your age look at younger women? I see it all the time.”
I
answer him:
“Easy...they're
pretty.” I could tell by the look on his face he didn't get it so
I elaborated further.
(Before
I go on...an apology to women in general who are my age. I, too, am
looking worn, tired and threadbare. Very, very few college girls will
want a future with me unless I am a millionaire and look like I will
die soon, leaving it all to them)
I
tell this Kid this:
“When
you go into Stop and Shop and you go to the vegetable aisle, stand in
front of the loose green peppers...which ones do you pick out? Which
ones you choose?”
The
Kid is quiet, as he doesn't know where I'm taking this so I answer it
for him.
“You
choose, the cutest, prettiest, tightest, smoothest and YOUNGEST
pepper out of the bunch! You don't go for the soft, wrinkly or
blemished peppers do you?”
“No”
the kid answers.
“And
that's why we older guys go for younger women, we see 'health.'
You'll understand this as you get older.” I tell him. It's true. 23
year old guys cannot see what a 23 year old woman really looks like,
you have to be older to see it.
**
At
an old job I had, there was a guy we sort of named “John the Floor
Guy” as that was his job. He was retired, very old but a nice guy
who took care of the floors in the facility. He would routinely
remark to me about the girls working there as many were in their
early 20's.
But
one day, one of the girls really tortured him., using her 21 year old
charms on him.
John
tells me one morning that one of the girls, a small Italian one,
called him into an empty room and yanked down her pants in front of
him.
“You
like this John? She says. “You like my thong? Hmmmmm?” As she curled her body this way and that.
Apparently
John's riveting his eyes on the girls there didn't go unnoticed by
the women and one decided to really let him have it.
“Ron!
She really did it about 20 mins ago! That little bitch was teasing
the shit out of me! But Damn! What a body! God! I wish I was her
age!”
“John”
I tell him, “if you were 21 she'd NEVER do that
to you, unless she was a stripper...she's just toying with you
because she knows you can't do anything about it here or
later...you're old and married. She knew she was safe!”
“It's
wrong!” he says. “You can't blue ball a 67 year old guy! It's
plain WRONG! Girls never understand just how that feels to us!”
I
told him I agreed with him. That really was a low blow but at the
same time, he enjoyed it as well.
So
this doesn't turn into a lecher's lament, I'll quote John Keats and
make noble this appreciation of beauty...
When
old age shall this generation waste,
Thou
shalt remain, in midst of other woe
Than
ours, a friend to man, to whom thou say'st,
"Beauty
is truth, truth beauty,—that is all
Ye
know on earth, and all ye need to know."
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