What Are YOU Looking At?

There's just one ventilator left. A Dr. looks at me, a 56 year old male with a familial predisposition for respiratory problems and in the next bed, a smoking hot 22 year old college girl who also has Covid-19. Utilitarian triage states that “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few” and so the Dr intubates the girl and then tells the orderly to wheel my ass out to the Sysco Rent a Freezer truck in the parking lot to store my ass in until this thing is over.

“But...but Dr! I'm not dead!” I may weakly say.

“Just you wait! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!”

Ok, black humor aside, covid is a Big Dog with a kill rate of anywheres from 1-10%. Regular flu barley eeks out 0.1% kill rate. Pussy flu!

**

Strange times...I've never seen anything like this. Chances are neither have you unless you were alive for the Spanish flu in 1918. Now that one liked killing 20 Somethings and left the old ones alone. Young, healthy immune systems were so powerful, so vigorous, that they went ballistic attacking anything in the lungs, including the lungs themselves.

So four scenarios for me. I get it and up I go to heaven. I get it an become an invalid for the rest of my days or I get it and walk away from it w/o so much as a scratch...and finally, I never contract it to begin with.

I don't think I get to choose which, only mitigate the odds a little.

What's struck me now is how every stranger looks carefully at one another. Before hand, I may have glanced at others, barely remembering them two seconds later. Now, I and they, scan one another for any signs of sickness. I was in Market Basket the other day and I swear most were doing that. You look for the kielbasa and suspiciously eye the women a few feet away from you.

“Who are you stranger...you look like you might mug me...will you?”

Then back home with the groceries and washing my hands, wondering of I touched my face 12 times on that mile and a half ride home.

Even friends. Today, I was out by the car an M came by. He's busy moving his trucking business from one location to a newer one and we both acknowledged each other's health at first. Also, social distancing was employed! After that, it was down to business...shooting the breeze about everything.

His business has or will slow but he opined that I was imminently employable as I work in healthcare. “They really need you guys now...more than ever!” he said. “You're still getting a check!”

“Uh...yeah, I guess that's a good thing. Though I'd be three feet away from a cloud of covid viruses should it show up in my place.”

Believe me, I have no Holy Mission to be on the front lines like the Dr's, nurses, CNA's or like that. I take no comfort in giving up my life/health for someone else's...when the else has pretty much lived theirs out to 80 or 90.

Now if I were working in pediatrics..that's a different story.

So...what the hell else can I say about this? Not much. You go day by day with it and hope for the best. That's Life's First Lesson anyway.