Happily Blind

Well, that last piece I wrote was an angry tirade. Ah, so what. I'm not apologizing.

*****

I found out another reason why like telling stories here. I like hearing myself talk. My Dad used to say this about me all the time, which I strongly denied. I guess he was right.

So, I now will content myself yapping once more. Yeah, it's a form of mental masturbation, which I find nothing wrong with. So what if it's unproductive. Whacking off is unproductive too.

*****

The older you get the more you realize that you don't know it all. Do you remember being 14? I do. I knew it all then. I'm 48 now and know that there are huge swaths of life I know little about.

I've never been married. There are those who pat me on the back and say, “Damn, aren't you lucky!” So, I know nothing about marriage except the little things I'm told. I suppose I can surmise what it's like. But what I can comprehend is divorce, as I'm seeing more and more now. We non-marrieds can grasp that easily due to it being so shamelessly public.

I can't lay out here the finalized and impending divorces I know about, so I have to make an amalgam to hide the participants. This will be from a guy's perspective as the stories I hear are from the boys. I'll add that I know it takes two to tango and very probably both sides are guilty as sin for dissolving a marriage. What I'll speak of is my reaction to hearing about these slow motion train wrecks.

My God, they are train wrecks though. It's something to see a couple who once were luvy-duvy, denigrate into vicious contenders. I remember the weddings, I was there for most of them. It was nothing but cake and bright futures. But since I didn't know the intimate day to day details of their married life, it's a bit of a shock to see them suddenly explode like a bar brawl spilling onto the sidewalk. These couples fight like fisher cats.

“Huh...and I thought they were doing alright?” I'd think.

What spooks me are the little guerrilla attacks the couple will assault each other with. I knew of one pissed off husband who very cleverly destroyed the home they once lived in by flooding it via the forced hot water radiator system. He attacked a water supply to the cellar pipes, opened up the highest, third floor radiator and left the house. It basically rained indoors for a couple days, down through all three floors. The house then could not be sold in the condition it was, except at fire sale prices.

Or this. A wife was secretly, for the past several years, skimming the profits of her husband's business, in cash, to a safe deposit box she opened in her name only. She was smart enough to keep the paper trail to a bare minimum as she planned her escape. The amount the husband tells me is near $80,000.

“Dammit! Not only did she keep that, she got the house and half of the other accounts as well! It took me fifteen years to build that up...now it's wiped out! I built that up...me..not her!”

Or, a wife going on a fucking binge with every guy she could meet when she found out her husband was having an affair. “Oh, I'll get you!” I can imagine her saying. “You shoved that knife in my gut? I'll twist a larger one into YOURS!”

The worst in people certainly comes right out huh?

I stand by the sidelines, watching the players tackle one another and I think to myself, “Thank God I'm not allowed to play this game.”

At 48, I know I don't “know it all” and in some instances, that's perfectly fine by me.