Bitch and Moan

Rhode Island General Laws 31-18-5. Crossing other than at crosswalks:

Every pedestrian crossing a roadway at any point other than within a marked crosswalk or within an unmarked crosswalk at an intersection shall yield the right-of-way to all vehicles upon the roadway.

*****

This will be a rant.

I know this has happened to you. You are driving down the road when someone will just cross the road in front of you without stopping, looking or taking any defensive measures. They expect you to stop. I still possess some values still and I do stop. I don't relish the idea of running anyone over. My stopping, you stopping...only rewards this behavior.

I began to see this about fifteen years ago with teens. They'd cross over the road most times without bothering to look at you. I'd be stopped in my car with a look of disbelief on my face when it started happening to me. I began to wonder if the Generation X,Y or Z's “Everyone gets an A” attitude began to infect their common sense of self preservation.

Two years ago I was driving down Newport Ave in Pawtucket. This is a four land road that has high traffic and can reach 40mph if the cops aren't around. I saw up ahead two kids, about 12, begin to cross the road as I approached and wondered when they'd notice me and the other cars coming at them. They didn't bother to look. I finally had to slow down so fast and turn toward the curb just to make sure I wasn't going to smack them. A women driving her family SUV on the side lane of me had to slam on her brakes and slide a good 20 feet, but luckily missed those kids.

I sat in my car just staring through the window at these dullards when she hops out of her vehicle and starts yelling at them for being morons. The kids just laughed, hopped on the sidewalk and moved on like it was noting at all.

Am I wrong or is this generation, that was raised with such parental protection, stupid enough to think this supposed safeguard stops 2000lbs of steel? Do they think this armor will follow them into their adults lives?

When I was a kid, a teen and even now, I was leery of crossing any busy street. Do you want to know why? I don't trust the drivers! I know the law says they must stop for me when I am in a crosswalk but the law means nothing to a mid afternoon drunk flying down the road. The law means nothing if someone's brakes fail. The law means nothing if they're too busy texting.

What am I going to do if I get hit? Sue them? I guess I can enjoy my million dollars while I lie in bed and forever stare at the ceiling of Zambrano State hospital. Hey, three times a day I can have an overworked CNA spoon feed me cold pureed peas into my mouth. Yum!

If you have kids, sure, you do want to protect them. But how about this? How about making them aware that there are real dangers out there and teaching them to avoid them might help? All the bike helmets, the knee pads, the parental releases are there for kids who don't always remember to watch out. But, when does it end? When do the parents hand over the responsibility of self preservation to the child? I would hope by the time they're sixteen!

You know, it's a disservice to protect kids from any harm that may befall them. Not all harm will destroy a kid or forever put them in a wheelchair. The funny thing about making your own mistakes is that mistakes are better instructors than fifty people advising you about something you haven't learned yet. When you screw up on your own, you now own that mistake and usually you never forget it.

I know a Mom, who had at times, a horrible time raising her oldest son. He had the proven ability to do well in school, behave and act like a normal person. But, for whatever reasons, he would dart off down the wrong path and act like a jerk. Nine times out of ten he wanted to do things he wanted and to hell with the world's expectations. I know it's not “all his fault” but don't tell me a 17 year old is fully innocent either.

One of the reasons why he tore off on his own was that he well understood that no matter what, the courts couldn't really touch him and he had a home without having to pay for it. There was free food, heat, clothing and a roof over his head. He knew the score. He could make mistake after mistake and not be harmed by them at all.

“Kate, the day he turns 18, toss his ass out. Let him find out how tiny and weak he is when he tries this very same bullshit with the world at large. He'll last a week or two in summer and not even three days in winter.” This was my advice.

“I can't. He's my son.”

I say, “And boy, does he know this.”

*****

Years ago, we knew a kid like the one I'm talking about. He was selfish, a one way road and he did whatever the hell he wanted with little regard to anyone elses wishes. He managed to get away with this for two weeks past his 18^th birthday.

When you don't work, you still need money. He shows up at the park one day with pockets full of coins saying he just ripped off his Mom's change jar that was on the top of the fridge. We just shook our heads.

Three days later, his Mom told him, “You have two days to pack and leave. I don't care where. You leave or I’ll have the cops escort you out this house.”

John left. The only place he had to go was the one relative that had about one month's worth of sympathy for him.  John lived above his shop in some attic space. He'd hang out, sell some weed for pocket money and still didn't bother to find a job. The relative eventually showed him his shipping orders as well.

John finally ended up in an apartment that he could afford. Cheap housing in Pawtucket was still too much for him so he had to hop over the line to Dexter Street in Central Falls.

We visited him there a few times and gave up because the place was a crime ridden, dirty ditch filled with some of the weirdest people you ever met. It wasn't something anyone would enjoy.

John then had to walk across the city to our old neighborhood to hang out. He fancied himself as a tough guy and was pretty much tight lipped till he surprised us one night by opening up. He had grown to fear Dexter Street. He added that financial worries bothered him because he could barely afford the minimal rent and food.

No one had any sympathy for him. In my mind, I told myself, “You made your bed, kid. You weren't stupid, just selfish and stubborn and you LOST.”

The world got ahold of him in it's mouth. He found out living alone without decent means was a major struggle. Did he have a conversion that turned his entire life around? No. He split one day to another state, scraped by and managed something of a life. He, I'm told, still harbors incredible hatred towards his Mom for kicking him out.

*****

Forever protect? Forever sweep away obstacles in these kid's paths? Instill in them a belief that a protective bubble surrounds them? Sure, do that, till one day they're free in the world and it will surely respect that bubble...won't it?

I know I'm going to read about it again. A not so young teen will get run over like a pancake by thinking, “They'll stop.” The last person I read about being smacked was in Warwick a few years back. She was hit and sent flying 40 feet into the air. She didn't survive. The AG's office refused to charge the driver as no laws were broken.

I know I'll still stop when I see these kids amble in front of my car. I also know, they're headed for a huge wake up call they're not going to like in the least when the world can legally ignore their self important status.

Ok, I'm done...till the next one pisses me off.