A Happy Miser

"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him and even the flea would desert him for a velocipede." -Mark Twain

I have no idea where I learned thriftiness but I have applied it since I was in kindergarten and maybe earlier. I swear it's in my genes. Or, perhaps, it's a learned lesson about loss I learned so young. I can't determine just how I came across this trait. Decades have passed and I still have this habit.

I came across the above quote from Mark Twain while reading his “Roughing It.” I smirked and at the same time fully appreciated the image of Want Twain was painting. Want, is a plague to be avoided at all costs, if you are able to.

I've been called cheap, tightfisted, stingy, miserly and a host of other names that deprecates we New England Yankee skinflints. I really can't dispute these labels, they do describe my views on money management. But, it arises from knowing Want.

Want sucks.

I am sure we've all been, or are, in situations where you needed something that only money would fix...and you didn't have it. To me, being cornered like that, being shackled, is tyranny. Hence, it has given me great motivation to keep Want at bay via the decisions I make. This means I don't blow money like a drunken sailor.

 

I have heard people tell stories of what they've bought, and I swear they can almost see my mouth drop open. Well, it feels to me like my jaw just dropped.

“You did what?” (eyes wide, look of awe)

I've asked these people for a rational explanation, but never receive one that satisfies me. I have learned to shut up and let people be, but I can't keep from screaming to myself very quietly...”What the fuck are you doing!!” It's an agreed opinion that you don't bring up religion or politics around company, add to that any damnation of other people's purchases.

Yet still, I feel the need to preach about the evils of wanton spending to these lost souls. Shut up, Ron...just.shut.up.

The trick to life is balance...right? How devout should one get about a belief, hoping the more fervent one is, the quicker salvation will come? And in doing so, what else falls from your life as you expend a good amount of your focus and energies in such a narrow sense?

Ain't that the trick, huh?

In truth, this has become a personality trait of mine, never to be shrugged off entirely. Ah well, at least I do spend the $ on things I love. Albeit they are few and far between. And thank God I don't have to drink whiskey every night or maintain a cocaine habit, that would suck.