Not Good Enough...

I spent the day down in Newport which coincided with Spring Break, which I totally forgot was happening around now. We were winding our way through the crowds of drunken college kids when I realized, “Hey, I used to do this!”

Used to...

We ended up at an outside bar on Thames St where I spent the time people watching, which is a great hobby really. What was fun watching was the high pressure testosterone/estrogen mating attempts by all of those involved. The guys were hitting on enough girls in hopes that a ratio of 1 in 50 may just pay off.

Nothing changes I find. The girls, in 45 degree weather, were as lightly clothed as possible. And some were in bikinis in this weather, strutting up Thames St in high heeled shoes, or knee length leather boots. Some of those girls know exactly how to “peacock” to get the guy's attention.

What was surprising, was how picky they all were about each other. From my perspective, the women there were all pretty. It's hard not to look good when you're of college age. BUT...even amongst themselves they were sifting just which ones were the best. Damn. Tough judgments!

When you people watch you also eavesdrop. I know it's none of my business but so what, some conversations are entertaining. I overheard two Salve Regina girls, in teeny shorts, bemoan the “wrong colored hair” on one the guys that was hitting on them both.

“Gawd...it's almost BLACK! Ya think he dyes it?” Asks one.

“No, it's real..even his eyebrows are black...you can talk to him if you want to...I don't care. “ Says girl # 2, who was releasing this one to her friend to catch.

“Wrong colored hair?” I thought to myself. Damn. What if you have ONE freckle on the tip of your nose...are you disqualified? I guess in this Survival Game the fussy rules are that meticulous.

It was an hour later that I listened to a group of guys sit in judgment of the girls that were passing them by on the sidewalk. The commentary was pretty funny to me. Luckily for the girls, those comments weren't so vocal for them to hear.

“Filthy Pig!” One of they guys said, followed by head nodding of his friends. Gee, I thought that girl that passed them was fairly cute, what the hell is wrong with her?

Or.

“Look, there's an Ultimate PIG...Kyle..YOU can have that one, you like the sows right?”

Or..

“Oooh! Skank Heaven there!” One of the boys points out a group of girls coming down the street. Again, I found nothing wrong with them at all.

As that group of girls passed, the boys shoved one of their friends toward them to make a connection but he retreated as fast as he could complaining that, “Forget it! Her eyebrows are too straight!”

There were girls there that looked like they did belong on a Hollywood set. Girls who fell on the Earth pretty with the additional luck of having rich parents. Girls whose skin maybe needed a just a hint more of a tan, and it's just mid March now. Girls who learned how to breezily walk without a care in the world. “Too young to know, too old to care.” That was the attitude some have and display it well.

You could tell these girls came from money. To have perfect hair like that and well coordinated, fashionable clothing from bottom to top takes some money and a lifetime of living with your rich peers who have all the knowledge of just “how” to look.

Those girls, denied about 99.999999999999999% of the guys who came near them, or perhaps even looked at them.

And there I was, pushing 50, thinking, “My God...MOST of you, guys and girls, have NOTHING to complain about when it comes to looks...most of you are fine...would you lay off one another!”