Plays Well with Others

Job searches have certainly changed. The last time I did one was 18 years ago and I would circle want ads in the ProJo and send off paper resumes. Today it's all electronic.

I was at career services at a local college to get some hints, tips and contacts to widen my “social network.” The counselor was pretty helpful, as in realistic, instead of the “rah-rah go gettem' team” approach. She believes in building a foundation before you shingle the roof.

Above all, it's smart to have a sounding board to bounce ideas off of with someone who's experienced with this question. I've always believe comparing my own view of reality with someone else's tends to put me on track if I wander.

Not to toot my own horn, ah...rather it was a confirmation of some skills that I haven't used in a long, long time that surprised me that I still possess. She quickly stated that my interpersonal skills were honed to a sharp edge.

She said: “You talk like a natural counselor...did you know that? It just flows with you. You're very open, at ease and you drew me right in...You can do that with anyone!”

“Ah” I say “That's the Art of the Relationship. If the other person is willing, I can establish a connection fairly fast...IF they're willing, but try that on someone who's naturally lacks trust, it's like chiseling a brick wall. To tell the truth, I find people who are incapable of this, as weak.”

To tell the truth, I'm far more comfortable with the One To One than being a part of a large group where it's near impossible to reach individual people as everyone is jabbering to one another.

“Ron, it's a dying art you know. I counsel a ton of college aged kids and they haven't the ability to do face to face. It's all texting. Many of them miss the social cues needed to just connect! Sometimes it's so hard to “drill down” into them to learn just who they are because they can't express it.”

I then critically say; “Ah, We're a nation populated by people brain damaged by Aderall.” No one wants to listen, they all want to talk at once...be the center of attention.”

“I'm a dinosaur.” I say

“No, you're just from a different generation that learned how to deal with people.”

Perhaps I am? Perhaps if I texted constantly and learned that I could keep an impenetrable electronic barrier between me and the other, I could wall myself off. The fact that no body language, no facial expressions or a zillion other cues people use are blocked by electronics, it sort of give you can easy way to keep people away. Ah, No, I don't wish that.

But...in a certain sense, I have to become more aware of the social networking thingy. She tells me 70% of the positions acquired are by this. I translate that into my own brain as “It's Who You Know.”