No Answers

We keep producing them, psychos. It's a bit early in the investigation about Adam Lanza but the early reports state that he was “weird” to being with. The problem is that no one will know why he did it and I'm betting he didn't have the insight either.

 

I used to work in a field where I came across some of Rhode Island's damaged people. The majority were born with disabilities and grew up in rotten circumstances that further aggravated their conditions. None I knew took up a gun to take it out on the world though. It wasn't because of “personal choice” not to. They weren't that aggressive enough to try or weren't of that nature. The others I knew just turned inward and developed depression.

 

They'll be more. There always is. We treat each other like dirt at times. On occasion, some one kid gets a childhood filled with persecution and you wonder why they grew up screwed in the head? I knew many like that who were singled out over some condition or foible and were crucified socially for it. No, none of them shot up a school, they just limped along with their broken lives as best as they could, trying to squeeze some fun out of it.

 

I used to tell them this, and it's a hard truth. There's no justice for you. Whatever conditions you were born under, what life offered you, as undeserved and as cruel as they were, there will be no reprieve. You cannot petition any court to go back and get a “new life.” You cannot sue for a re-do. You were unfairly convicted by it and now live with it.

 

Instead, “Make your own justice” I'd say. I don't mean they should become Rambo and take it out on the world. I meant that they should forget retribution, sulking, the past and any other hindrance that silly fortune trips their lives up with. Go after what makes you happy instead. In doing so, don't forget that your damage is incorporated into you and you'll have to deal with that as you stumble towards the goals you seek.

 

There is no option but to go forward.

 

Unfortunately, for those twenty kids in Connecticut, that no longer is an option.

 

And I have no answer for that.

 

I'm not particularly religious. But, if the parents and relatives find some way to assuage this grief via Lutheranism, Catholicism, Judaism or what have you. Then so be it. Whatever works.

*****

I'm going to be 49 soon and I still can't figure out why the innocent are slammed by life. It happens every day. Most times you never hear about the smaller, personal struggles. There are billions of them occurring each day. Then we get this whopper that focuses everyone's attention.

 

Why?

 

No answer to that question either.

 

I used to be an avid reader of Kurt Vonnegut. He wrote this silly little ditty in his book Cat's Cradle that sums up life.

 

We do, doodley do, doodley do, doodley do,
What we must, muddily must, muddily must, muddily must;
Muddily do, muddily do, muddily do, muddily do,
Until we bust, bodily bust, bodily bust, bodily bust.

 

Slip, trip and fall through life. We bounce off it's walls. Some of us do better than others. Others minding their own business, being careful, get hit with life's meteors out of the sky. 

 

And Christ, do we judge one another on that!

“Did you hear what he/she did? How could they be that stupid?” The unsaid judgment here is that people deserve what happens to them. Some of us learn, some don't. Some of us can throw off self-damaging behaviors, others can't. I've come to believe, that the more you judge others, the more you judge yourself too. Leave others alone, and you'll possibly leave yourself alone too.

After today, life proves once again it's can be very hard. Why add to it?

I'll stop. I could ramble on and on.