Is It Safe?



 

Escaped Nazi Dentist Christian Szell Tortures Dustin Hoffman (Click If You Can Avoid Cringing)

 

 

The above clip is how I view most dentists. There are several reasons why. I ended up in the dentist's chair more than most people over my life.

I was born with soft enamel. A trace back to the previous generations in my family nailed this fact. My current dentist also discovered that several high fevers I had as a young child also wreaked havoc on my teeth. Add to that an awful Coca Cola addiction since I was five and the stage is set for cavity hell.

I used to love ginger ale as a kid. My Mom would give me some on occasion as a treat or as a reward to get me to do something I didn't want to do. My brother, on the other hand, hated it and my Mom would get him Coke. I never tried it until I was five and after I did, my brother and I would nearly fight over it sometimes.

Friday's were shopping days. My Mom would buy a six pack of Coke in the old glass bottles and the rule was, three per boy. I would have one each night till I exhausted my supply on Sunday night. This was great! Weekend TV as a kid was perfect plus soda!

Coke in itself is acidic. The sugar in it was also great for producing acid and in no time I found myself at Dr. Samarra's office in downtown Pawtucket.

I have to feel bad for Dr. Samarra now. I can remember what a hell of a time he had keeping me calm in the chair. Dental science in 1969 isn't what it is today. He tried music, letting me hold toys and tried putting a Bat Man mask on me (specially designed so he could work in my mouth) and nothing worked. I was scared shitless due to everything hurting like hell.

Finally, he brought my Mother in to ask permission to knock my ass out. Back then, they used ether in dentist offices and I got a great dose of it dripped onto a small screen covered in cotton, which was held near my nose. Ether is something else I can tell you. You are fully aware of what's going on but everything takes on a dream-like quality...and you become numb as a board. Dr. Samarra now could work in peace. After the work was done, I can remember being carried down to the car and laid in the backseat, still stoned on ether.

From the age five till about thirteen, I had numerous teeth pulled, cavities filled and various fluoride treatments applied to my teeth. I never got used to walking into any dentist office all those times. At fourteen a newer dentist suggested to my Mom it was time for braces as my teeth were “crowded.” Screw that I thought. Also, it was easy enough to get my Mom to nix that idea due to the cost. I'll live with crowded teeth.

Do you think I avoided Coke after all these bad experiences? No. I still don't to this day. I enjoy it too much. By the way, did you know Coke's recipe still uses coca leaves as an ingredient? I'm sure the DEA monitors the amount. The gov't stopped Coke from dumping ½ grams of straight cocaine into each bottle of soda they sold back in 1910. Hell...am I a lifelong, low-level coke addict?

I've been warned by my current dentist I've had now for over twenty years why my enamel gets beat up as it does, but he finally gave up after learning during his career that his patients are going to do what they want anyway. He told me I reminded him of another patient who had a daily addiction to salt water taffy. That guy has beaten up teeth as well. Whatever floats your boat I guess. I can't point fingers at all. Hell, salt water taffy is wonderful.

A while back, I dated this girl who had two kids around 6-7 years of age. One day, while I was showing the boy how to make a paper airplane (why he didn't know how to do this is beyond me...i guess realplay is verbotten now for kids!) he started to laugh when he tossed it into the air. He had one of those wide open mouthed laughs and I saw all his teeth. Perfect, young, healthy, strong teeth. Gleaming white teeth that haven't seen a dentist's drill at all. I was amazed...and jealous!

I was so taken aback that I mentioned to his Mom, who was with us, about the condition of his teeth. She took it as normal.

“Both of them had sealants put on their teeth.” she says.

Sealants...I wished they had that in 1969. I could've drank Coke made with car battery acid back then and gotten away with it.

*****

When I saw the above clip from the movie the Marathon Man, you can imagine how I reacted. I know I have to get my butt into that dentist chair when I have a true medical problem...but God... I don't feel safe.