Janus is the Roman god who looked
forward into the future and to the past, hence the two faces. Even
January the month, is derived from that god. The sun starts it's
climb into the sky and the days lengthen on December 26th. The
Romans, superstitious as hell, never consecrated a day to a
God that wasn't on the very first day of the
month. If you picked the first day, they believed it would imbue the
rest of the month with good luck. So they picked January 1st
to be the beginning of the new year.
Janus looks forward and back. I'm sure
many people do the same and also swear to all that is Holy they'll
carry out their New Year's resolutions. Gym memberships, nicotine
patches and a host of other positive actions will be taken I'm sure.
I was never into making resolutions as January isn't a month that
gave me too much motivation. It's damned cold and spring seems like
it's another eon away. To me, January is a month to hunker down and
endure. But still, anytime is a good time to make
the positive choice.
An aside for a moment please...
As for New Years Eve's, I wasn't the
type to get silly falling down drunk either. I may have done that in
my late teens but the novelty wears off quick. It then becomes a
typical party on a Saturday night except everyone yells at 12 AM.
For you youngsters out there, there was a time in the past when
police stations, even Pawtucket's, would have a coffee setup in their
station for drivers who were too drunk to drive. Stop in and have a
cup or two to straighten out some, then drive home. No questions were
asked.
Boy, how things have changed since the
70s! If you get caught after drinking one Pink Squirrel, they'll pull
your license today and in your futures lives too.
Ok, I got that out of my system.
From rereading my own articles here, a
a lot of them are memories. Perhaps it's the age I am that I do this.
Perhaps it's the fact that “discovery” isn't as amazing to me now
as it once was when I was younger. The older you get, the less “It's
New to You” is a revelation. Hell, some of the crap I talk about is
as mundane as a plank of wood and wood is no revelation at all.
Other events or people I come across I've never experienced before
don't shock me as there is always something familiar about them all.
So there is a hook I can grab onto. Also, things, people and events
repeat...constantly. There might be a new actor or different place,
but the story I've heard in some form or another before. As for
people? They are always people if you get the
drift.
You know what's odd at this age? Since
I don't have the energy, time nor the drive to “build” something
out of my life versus when I was 20 years old, my goals to reach now
aren't on some pinnacle, some mountain top. I've reached that
pinnacle. I've seen the mountain top. There were plenty of goals
I've aimed at that I managed to surmount. I finally attained a BA. I
made damn sure my close relatives lived out their lives at home
instead of dumping them. I always preferred the quality of
friendships vs the quantity. I was fairly successful in keeping
people I've known for over thirty years close by. This is trivial but
I managed from Radio Shack stereo components to high quality ones and
built a few myself. What's odd about it all? I never planned at some
of these goals, they were thrust upon me.
There were other goals that'll never be
reached due to outside influences that force you to navigate to a
different port as the one you were aiming at is now unreachable.
What's a goal I wanted but never could reach? Astronomy. How's that
for an ultimate Geek career? I've always been (and still am)
fascinated by what's out there. The problem for me is that astronomy
is nothing more but super heavy math. Fourier analysis,
multivariate, zeta functions. Are you fucking kidding me? When
tested with the GRE's and Miller's Analogies, I scored a standard
deviation above everyone else when it came to language knowledge,
comprehension and such. . When it came to mathematical knowledge, I
managed long division, fractions and quadratic equations barely. My
mathematical GRE was a standard deviation below! My height regarding
math reached junior year high school stuff. That surely wasn't
getting me into Cornell. No matter anyway, there's a dearth
of MA level astronomers awash in the job market since computers made
them obsolete. W
When I was six, I wanted to be an
astronaut, but again there were problems. No Air Force Academy was
going to accept someone who is as liberal as I was. I couldn't
imagine myself at Ft Collins in Colorado, whooping it up with a bunch
of authoritarian loving, blond, blue eyed, “He's a chip off the ol'
block” types.
Now, my goals are all about depth.
What I mean by that is since I have attained some of what I wanted,
it's time to polish it, deepen the hue and to improve on what I have
already.
Happy New Year! Keep growing in your
own way wherever that leads you.
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