"Oh God...Don't STOP!"

Ok, time for some porn! This'll get your interest up.

Guys are great for the “bigger fish” stories when in a group. One time a few years ago, I was listening to a bunch of guys try to outdo the other with various ex girlfriend escapades. That's when I realized I'd tell a quick story of how I had the smallest fish story of them all.

I retold a goofy story about a blowjob in a cellar of a girl I was once smitten with. We had met, were into each other (as far as I thought) and one night the making out session became hot and heavy and one thing led to another.

So, there I was! With her head slowly moving and my 19 year old self was in ecstasy! I thought: “Oh god she's sooo pretty!!” All I saw was every positive thing about her at the moment. This went on for the long time of two minutes when she pulled herself up and stopped.

I came out of my hypnotic daze and thought, “Huh? What's going on?”

She tells me. “I can't do this...It's wrong... and my MOM is upstairs too!”

I quickly try to convince her otherwise. “Your Mom is busy, we're wicked quiet..I promise not to make any noise! And it's not wrong!”

She counters “No, no, no...I can't explain it...I really like you an' everything but I can't do this now!”

I have to quickly debate her. “YES you can! You were just doing it! C'mon...we'll be reeaalll quiet!”

She was putting her shirt back on and I was losing control of this situation fast. In my desperation to keep this going, I told her we'll go into the shed in the backyard where her Mom would never stumble upon us.

“The SHED?!! It stinks of gasoline in THERE!!! The SHED? ” My romantic ideas were quickly shot down by her even faster.

Every guy knows this feeling. Your hand was just on a piece of candy and it's been suddenly pulled away. My brain was screaming, “ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

The guys I told this story to stared at me. One says, “You're telling us when you didn't get it?

“Yep...how's that for a story?” I tell them.