Valentine's Day has arrived and Russel
Stover, any balloon company and DeBeer's diamonds are doing well.
$14,000 diamond tennis bracelets...my God. Well, if you hit
Megabucks, I guess you can afford it.
I have had some quick conversations
with some women who will be alone for this day or currently estranged
from their mates. None were happy about it and that's all due to
wanting things to be perfect, or believing in perfection.
Their fault? No. The culture bombards
them daily with the “just perfect” relationship or the perfect
life one “should be living.” None of these things are real since
perfection can't be maintained for more than what? A few minutes?
Even if you get it? Get one headache and the whole Fantasy is thrown
off. Rich and living in the Caymans with a handsome boyfriend?
Great...it's all besmirched when the maid does a lousy job vacuuming
up the dog hair in your pretty home...or if Mr. Right snores.
There is no such thing as perfection.
There is no such thing as abject failure either. Neither of those
conditions can exist.
One young woman I talked to I had to
remind her of this:
“You think all those relationships
are happy, fulfilling and faultless? They're all pretty much a muddy
affair in which people stumble on through. Many don't even survive.
Look at the divorce rates! Look at the marriages/relationships that
are shams.”
“Look at all of them, they're all up
and down, left and right and inside and out. They all morph from one
moment to the next. Their trick is to put on a public face and shove
that best foot forward to give the image of “forever happy.”
“Don't you believe it! One of the
best hidden things in life are the state of others' marriages.”
I then reminded her of what she does
have in her hand of cards, minus the boyfriend.
“You're pretty, even on the inside.
I've met many pretty woman who were just plain ugly on the inside
once I got to know them. You're not a single mom who was saddled
with kids when that last boyfriend split. You not crawling with STD's
because you don't hop from bed to bed looking for someone to like you
for an hour or two. You have a career and don't need some guy to
split the rent with, keeping you in a sort of bondage to a person you
may no longer like...or love. Lastly, you have a good heart.”
Did I reach her? I don't know.
Finally I said:
“By tomorrow, you'll forget all about
today...and have to shovel the snow! Reality is easier to deal with
than some of the unreachable dreams that were planted in your head.”
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