Exquisite

Today, no heavy thought on Shakesperare. Today it's PORN!

Get It On with a young Elton John. Click to Play!

Well, you're dirty and sweet.

Clad in black,

Don't look back

And I love you!

You're dirty and sweet, oh yea!

Well, you're slim and you're weak.

You got the teeth

Of the Hydra upon you.

You're dirty sweet

And you're my girl!

For me, this is probably one of the most filthiest, sex laden songs written, and not due to the lyrics either. Yeah, I know, there's a ton of rap that bluntly states “Yo, I'm gonna fuck ya mouth silly bitch!” However, there's no tone, no theme, no mood created that'll inspire that hot blooded sexual desire. It's a shovel slammed broadside into your face. There's no subtlety at all. And I won't get into Zappa's songs about golden showers, towers of power and becoming a sexual spastic. He just did that to shock and satire American sexual beliefs. If you want to do a song about sexuality, hint at it, suggest it, flirt it. The “come hither” invitation is far more powerful than some slut giving it up three hours after you met her in the nightclub. Get It On does comes ever so close to the edge of it all without being explicit. Abruptness won't work here and erotic tact actually is more potent.

Get It On suggests, with sopping wet humidity, an attraction to a girl who has “it” and knows what to do with it. I swear it's the bass drive in the song that moves the sexual amperage down the wire. I guess the John Birch Society was right after all, rock and roll and African beats, caused America's youth to rebel, knock America from it's superpower status and spread std's everywhere..and caused us to lose Vietnam! Oh, like that wasn't happening before rock? Don't believe it? Read a few poems by Emily Dickinson (herself The Queen of Wallflowers) that were written a 100 years earlier. She probably soaked herself as she wrote them. Her sly use of flowers, bees and pollen aren't lost on the reader.

I'm sure you've seen girls with a tee shirt that says “Boy Toy.” I'm sure feminists everywhere are wholly insulted by that but I will admit, we guys are lurid pigs who can be turned on by girls who can flirt hard and use their feminine sexual power to drive us nuts. The National Organization of Women ought to tune it back a few notches, fucking is great fun...will you admit it? Stop denying the fact that we're human and girls and boys will play. But I'll stop here before I really piss NOW off.

I'm not sure if Get It On can be classified as bubblegum rock but it does have that taste to it in a way. It's simple and sweet, just like bubbegum is and so can be sex. And why not? The song screams about the guy loving his candy and the girl is tempting the shit out of him with it. Good for her! Drive him nuts! Wave it in front of his face. It's part of the game.

A while back, while a few of us were discussing the difference between girls and boys, I thought that a great experiment would be to switch souls. Girls can be a guys for 24 hours and vice-versa, just to see what it felt like.

“What would you do?” I was asked if I could switch said a Karen Nyone.

I answered: “I'd be on my back the FULL 24 hours!”

“You're kidding!” Karen shot back, half laughing.

“C'mon Karen! If you were a guy for that time, you'd be trying to stick it into anything that you could hold still long enough!”

She paused for a few seconds when I jumped in...

“YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT IT! AREN'T YOU?”

All I got was a smile, but that was confirmation enough.