Responses

Well, that last piece on infidelity struck a chord. I usually don't receive responses to that blog but I got a few emails this morn.

The emails were mostly from women and one guy. Most of who I know and a few unknowns who happened across my site and had to respond. I ain't naming names!

Guess what they thought? It had nothing to do with Daphne and my shenanigans. What they did say was that they “understood” Daphne and her feeling trapped in a dull, lifeless marriage. Some of the women, I know are having flings on the side. The others just complained about how they love their husbands, but no longer are “in love” with them. I heard this as it was a common complaint. “He changed over the years...we changed...and I don't know how it happened.”

That's the price of living with the same person for over ten years I suppose.

Well, people easily find a comfortable rut to snooze in. As you get older, it becomes more and more comfortable to stay in your rut. It gets harder to change when you go from 35 to 45. The mental energy isn't what it used to be.

I have no answers for them. I don't think there's much of an answer that can be broadly applied as each marriage has it's own particular, sometimes weird, dynamics.

The guy who wrote me, who I know well, told me he fell in love with the little tart he was seeing. She too was a Daphne who was bored in her marriage and she went shopping. He didn't get caught as the whole affair wasn't exposed but he lamented the fact “she went back to him.” I said to him, “99% of the time they go back to Number One...that's where the financial stability is.” I've known some instances where the woman will put up with their husband's infidelities, just as long as she remains Number One on the checkbook and house deed.

“You didn't fall in love with yours...she was a play thing to you..I fell in love with mine.” he finally wrote.

“Your timing was off, not that it was your fault...she was already married. You get over her yet by now?”

He said he had but it was bit of a haul as he thought, as well as she, that they two fit so well together. But, she couldn't give up the house in Rehoboth, the paychecks her husband was bringing in and the Holy Hell that divorce court can be. That outweighed any feelings she had for him.

Anyways, thought I'd update this. I thought I'd get some responses along the lines of, “You sneaky marriage killing bastard!” I got none of those. What responses I did get was eye opening...in favor of Daphne!