Ever been in a conversation where the
other was just itching for you to say something negative about them,
so they can confirm that your opinion of them sucks? The questions I
was asked, even the sentences when spoken, were at a metered pace.
God is that a tip off! That and the fact they are desperately trying
to lead me down a path that'll give them their verification. The
problem is that I try to be polite, give replies that won't pin me
down so I don't hurt their feelings. But after a while, I get annoyed
with the pestering and if you want the truth, you're going to get
it.
I once wrote about this a while back on
this blog. This women kept hitting on me HARD, almost like swinging a
brick into my face and I wasn't in the least bit interested. You'd
think no eye contact or one word replies work. Nope. If the target of
your affection won't reply, turn the volume up to “11” and
that'll work...right?
So last night, after a few months, I
meet her again. During our conversation she asks me an odd question.
If she were a dog or I, which one would we be? For myself, all I
could think of was a German Shepherd dog as that's all I've owned.
“Why a shepherd?”
“I guess because of their silly
loyalty, attachment and that amazing annoyance they feel if a
stranger should come near their 'den.'”
“What about me?”
I can't think of a decent answer as I
don't honestly know specifically every breed's cartoonish,
stereotypical qualities. I tell her she isn't a poodle as she has
none of that high maintenance issues with her.
She presses on to pick a dog and I then
say, “I don't know! You tell me the qualities of
an Alaskan husky? A Spaniel? A Schnauzer?” The point I was telling
her that this wasn't the best way, for me anyway, to get me to
describe her.
She tries a different tact. “You said
a Shepherd...that hates strangers getting close to you.”
“Yep” I said.
“Why?”
I then tell her this great philosophy
of life I have. “I detest and hate others who can't keep their
messy, flea infested, smallpox infected lives away from mine. In
short, I hate it when other people's lives, their drama gets
splattered all over me. It's a huge violation of etiquette in a way,
much like loudly farting at a dinner table you've been invited to.
You're a pig.”
She thinks on that and says,”Well,
everyone has issues...we all make mistakes.” I tell her that's true
and yes, we all need to be flexible when it comes up, but then I ask
her, “Is being a heroin addict for the past 7 years, a whoopsy
kind of mistake? Is being a sloppy alcoholic a mistake? It's a long
standing illness...not some mistake. You may want to help them but
guess what nurses and doctors do when treating an Ebola patient? They
wear environmental suits and keep a distance...they don't French kiss
the patient to prove friendliness!” I repeat it again....”they
keep distance!”
I ask her this. If her friend or close
acquaintance borrows her car, and you know she's a boozer, and she
wraps it around a pole later on that night, do you
think...”Awww...people should get second chances?”
I answer that for her before she can
reply, “NO! This jackoff just ruined your car because they're
idiots. They just screwed up your month because you now have no car
for work, for getting anything done and to top it off, I bet they
have no money to repay you as well! Your friend is probably immature
and selfish.”
“Do you kindly forgive them or do you
kick yourself for being suckered into giving the car to being with?
That's what I'm talking about, keeping fuck ups as far from me as
possible.”
“Jesus...you're strident about that.”
She says.
“Yep, I learned those lessons time
and again throughout my childhood. As I got older, I'd occasionally
make the silly mistake and slip and then I was suckered into some
situation that predictably went splat.”
As I told this story, I could see the
look on her face. It looked guilty which then displayed some
annoyance with me. She then responds...
“You hold too high a bar for people
to jump!” Now her tone of voice is bitchy pissed off. Guess why?
“Yep I do...and it drives away about
30% of the people I come across...safely puts a ton of distance
between me and them.”
I end the conversation with this.
“Look, I bar people from my life who are continual
fuck ups. You know which people get really pissed at me for thinking
this?” I ask.
“Who?”
“Only continual fuck ups take offense.”
**
Perhaps I'm showing my age. I was
raised with an etiquette which demanded you NEVER besmirch other's
lives, property or whatever. You respected their boundaries. If you
vomit, try not to puke into their lap, the floor is good enough. If
you have some personality quirk, then don't inflict
onto others if you can help it. Above all, you had to be able to put
yourself into the others shoes and see how your own behavior might
effect them.
And that's the crux huh? Being able to
see another's point of view. Those messy people I've come across in
life are incapable of seeing anything but their own needs and wants
and can be seen charging to whatever it is they want, stomping on
everyone's feet to get it.
They're children still. Forever 12
years old in an adult's body. There are thousands of these people out
there...do I have to tell you this? If you know they exist, then you
aren't one of them.
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