Tuesday, December 1, 2015

A Day in the Life

What can I talk of now? Memories? Syria? I run out of things..

So, here's a little diary for today.

December 1 2015:

Dearest Diary...

Today I woke up too damn early as I was planning on busily sleeping till later on. Ah well, if I'm up I'm up and might as well get the day started. First and foremost, take a piss. Add that to the other two I had to take during the night for eating salty foods the night before. After that, flip on stereo, computer; have a look out the window and by that time I was so tired I had to sit down. Har! Har!

Actually, I had to do all those boring house wifey things that weren't getting done before but now I have the free time. Laundry, buy some food as the fridge is bare, sort out the mail, etc. Living alone means I have no other to help with these things so it's up to me. If not, they sit there till I can get around to them. Also, I was planning on getting my hair cut as it was really very long now. I was starting to look like an 1850's New England School house teacher. Had I a rumpled black coat and hat, I could pull the look off. I wonder how you girls deal with hair in your eyes since you generally have longer hair? I find that it stings the hell out of your eyeballs if not trimmed up well enough. Those little hair ends poke like little knives.

I still go to a “real” barbershop. The ones you can imagine in your mind where it's all men and the walls have pictures of sports heroes, the magazines are either Guns & Ammo or the sluttiest women's fashion magazines meant to titillate the guys, who are waiting their turn. “Vogue” is a good one for that. I swear models are younger now, there was some girl, probably 14, biting on a nekclace of pearls while she showed off some summer dress, on a beach in Turks and Caicos. I guess when you hit 22 in the fashion industry, you're far “too old.”

I at times used to go to those Miss Fifi's Hair Surgeon boutiques where they charge you $$$$ to just “cut” my hair. After that I'm peppered to buy hair treatment products that cost an arm and a leg. I've only bought one, Vidal Sassoon shampoo...only because it smelt like candied coconuts. But I got tired of paying out that kind of money for a cut so I found my old barbershop, Lanni's.

My barber there is a young man and we hop from subject to subject on whatever. Alot of times about 4 wheeling, motorcycle and cars. But today for some reason, we were discussing strip clubs and his generation's lucky fact that those girls in his cohort are aggressive as hell. When I was his age, getting a girl to loosen up was like opening a live mussel, you needed an oyster knife.

He then mentioned that it was soo easy to find girls now. He started his dating scene when Facebook was coming online and he told me the boys would all hunt the girls down during the day during school and then meet up at Emerald Square mall during the night.

“Some nights, we guys could get six to seven of them to show up at the food court. The problem was that their Mom's or Dad's would pick them around 9 or 10 to go home...but some of them were sneakier than that and they were the fun ones.”

I sat there and thought all I had when I was 16 was a rotary phone...and no oyster knife.

I then mention something I had heard about, but since I'm older now and “not with it” when it comes to the latest fads in tech, that there's something called “Tinder” out there.

“Awwww DUDE! That's the BEST one! YOU GOTTA get it!” He was so enthusiastic about it too that the guy in the nest stall getting his hair cut gave his thumb's up when he overheard it.

“Hell, they're such pigs! All you do is swipe left or right on their pictures, whether you think they're cute or not and if they respond to you in kind, you can meet up!” Not only that, you can put in the parameter of just say you want to meet people in a 5 mile radius. It's soo cool!”

I then mention, ”I bet....bring a condom.”

“Wear five” the kid tells me.

He goes on rather cynically and with a knowing glance at me and further says. “You're generation opened the door....we are the ones feasting on it....the girls our age are way open and ready.”

Again I think if was born into the Tinder Age, say if I was just 18, I wouldn't need an oyster knife at all. Lucky bastards.

“There's a drawback at times.” The barber goes on. “I once met a high school teacher from Tolman on it.”

“Isn't that like trying to date your Mom?” I ask.

“No! No! She was just four years older than me but I get the point..it was weird going out with my English teacher from a few years back.”

I'd like to have Tinder-ed my own gov't studies teacher way back then...


 Lanni's. Still a Men's Club

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