More blue collar comedy from the past…
I remember telling you all of the keg party spot we had. Well, there were others as well, but all situated along the Ten Mile River as was the “back of the Park” one I told you about.
One such spot was Daggett Fields. It was a reclaimed marsh pit built up for little league baseball teams. In the back of it were the woods and river, and plenty of places to set up a keg.
I was not there for this particular story but I was assured by many others that it happened.
Our cast includes an Officer Jainey (a sort of cleverly disguised name) and a John Parker (not so cleverly disguised). It involves a Friday night keg party and small town relationships.
That night Officer Jainey and a another cruiser show up and creep through the woods with their flashlights to surprise the partying teens. The teens flee into the woods. They managed to hide well due to the warren of wetlands that are a bitch to navigate if you do not know them. Jainey and the others can’t pursue them so they exact revenge by stealing the keg, six packs and whatever is worth taking.
After lugging the beer back down to the baseball fields where the cops had parked, Jainey yells back into the woods…
“Hey you little assholes! We got your beer! What do you think of that!?”
To which, John Parker yells out from somewhere in the darkness of the woods…
“Hey Jainey! I’m fucking your daughter!”
Apparently I’m told that Jainey did not need to know who shouted that. He knew exactly who that was. He then yells back:
“Parker! You little fuckin’ son of a bitch, you get your ass out here right now!”
Parker, being too smart for that, just stole deeper into the wetlands and disappeared for the night.
*****
And that’s the latest from Lake Pawtucket-be-gone, where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average.
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