My Ears are Bleeding!

Here's a command performance. I know someone who wishes to be a “star” in a story.

Oh, are you going to get it Matt. You can say good bye to your marriage, career and any friends you thought you could count on!

Ah, don't worry, you've told this one yourself.

Montreal, Canada. Specifically, Ste. Catherine. A street where debauchery is legal and encouraged. Our college spring break crowd took it all in. Beer, wine, more beer, strippers, breaking into high rises slated for implosions and hotel room antics. We were in our early 20's and did it all, or we tried to.

 

I was a psychology major and Matt was a history major with an interest in urban development, go figure. In one of our just past dawn hangover walks through the city, we happened upon a construction site where they were wiring a high rise to destroy. Matt decides to peel back the hurricane fencing to get inside. I stood there wondering what could be so fun about a construction site and also if there were any early morning Montreal police around. It wasn't the joys of seeing rubble, but I soon became entranced with the idea of a little mischief. Why not criminally trespass in an area with dynamtage signs all about? Christ, have some balls and let's go exploring in dangerous areas.

We stumbled around for about forty five minutes when I noticed a huge chunk of flooring, barley hanging on still via it's rebar, swaying somewhat in the wind about 50 feet up. I think it was then I told him it was time to go when I noticed pieces of the building could squish us. He was plenty amazed and happy to be in the rubble, but that's urban planners for you and he got his fill.

Then as now, you can find me with a can of Coke in my hand. It was not different in that hotel and on our last day as we were going down stairs. He hands me my can of Coke I had forgotten in that room and as I took a good long swig...GAAAAGGG!

Warm vodka. I was swilling room temperature vodka. Thanks for switching the soda out for cheap Popov vodka Matt! I shouldn't bitch, we were getting drunk at 7am though my favorite drink is beer, not keg party cheap liquor.

Once we were back at Rhode Island College, where we had all met to get the bus to Montreal, Matt wasn't finished. He was to drive me home and drop me off. I think we ended up driving around the Scituate resevoir, Hope Valley and possibly into Foster as he wasn't done partying yet.

All along the way, we recapped our trip. We spoke of trying to get into the pants of a very friendly girl named...well...I can't identify her here. Let's try Debbie Cardboard Boxs. Anyway, we were speaking of things we young 20 somethings were discovering for the first time. We felt like adventurers, explorers who had just come back from being the first ones to reach the North Pole. Ah, all 20 something's do this, it's new to them. Ask me now at 48 about anything new, there isn't anything new. Everything that could've been done under the Sun has been done, a thousand years before we came along.

Be that as it may, being young men with a fresh trip to a foreign country was exhilarating.

My ride with Matt had a price though. I had to listen to his favorite band, Husker Du.

Now, being young and more accepting of anything new, I kept an open mind. I did try one new things to see if they fit. Be it music, food, places and whatnot. Husker Du was something I never really heard of before and it was...ah...different.

Wikipedia describes the band, “Hüsker Dü first gained notice as a hardcore punk band with thrashing tempos and screamed vocals.” They ain't kidding!

I sat in that car while “New Day Rising” was being blarred at me. I was tired, hungover and spent from a four day weekend of hard core partying. We finally ended up in front of my house around 5am while this song screamd, and I mean SCREAMED, out from his speakers.

We are starting a cat ranch and taking one hundred thousand cats

Each cat will have twelve kittens a year

The catskins will sell for thirty cents each

One hundred men could skin five thousand cats a day

We could be dealing a profit of over ten thousand dollars

But what should we feed the cats?

We will start a rat ranch next door with a million rats

The rats will be twelve times faster than the cats

So we can have more rats to feed each day for each cat

But what should we feed the rats?

We will feed the ratsThe carcases of the cats

After they have been skinned

Now get this!

We feed the rats to the cats and the cats to the rats

And get the catskins for nothing

We feed the rats to the cats and the cats to the rats

And get the catskins for nothing

We feed the rats to the cats and the cats to the rats

And get the catskins for nothing

We feed the rats the carcases of the cats

After they have been skinned

We feed the rats to the cats and the cats to the rats

And get the catskins for nothing

Rats to the cats and the cats to the rats

And get the catskins for nothing!

Meanwhile Matt sat there and insisted that behind my neighbor's house, the Courtney's, that the twin towers could be seen. I squinted hard but saw nothing.

Was it skinned cat induced hallucination or beer induced. I know not to this day.

 

 

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