Frost Bite

There used to be an old commercial where the house owner would grimace to hearing his old furnace kick on. The last shot of him, in bed, had him putting the pillow over his face as it kicked on again, sucking up his dollars. I think it finally ended with an overlay of “Call Your Local Tappan Dealer” or something like that.

Growing up I had no worries about old furnaces. My brother and I discovered a trick where we could turn the furnace on if it was near close to doing so. We'd walk by where the thermostat was and thump the wall with our fist. It was enough to jar that mercury switch to the “on” position and we'd run to the heat registrars and bathe in that wonderful warm air. That way, we'd never be seen trying to turn up the thermostat. I am sure, my Dad grimaced when it came on, ever.

Luckily in my life I've never really gone hungry or cold for any length of time. (Knocking wood for this to continue!). The only time I was dangerously cold was my first experience with frostbite as a kid.

Our gang in our neighborhood were mall rats even before that term was coined. There was a small strip mall on Armistice where we'd hang out, ride our bikes and other wise be bored. We'd be on the outlook for trouble, as trouble was exciting.

This particular day I was riding around with the others and it was bitingly cold, but when you're twelve your body is in perfect condition and can handle it. I didn't have gloves on and so the skin was exposed for a good hour or two. I was privately complaining to myself about this but I wasn't about to bail on the others because it was “too cold.” I'd get instantly needled for that. So I suffered with that stinging pain on the tops of both my hands.

After a while, I was happy to notice the pain went away. The tops of my hands were completely numb and grayish looking. “Ah, they're just cold as hell, that's why they're gray.” I thought. We eventually all went home as the sun sets early and when I did, I came into a nice warm house. About ten minutes later, the tops of my hands were singing in pain again.

Have you ever had a part of you that was sooo cold, that plunging it into cold tap water felt warm? I did that day. My Mom who noticed the gray color after my quiet grumbling about the pain took some action.  So into the sink my hands went, into what is usually even colder in winter, tap water. After a few minutes, she refilled with more slightly warmer water and brought my hands, bit by bit, to temp. This was accompanied by that burning sensation.

Two days later, I saw the top layers of my skin peel like they were sunburned. Underneath that, newer skin was trying to come up. Whoops! I stayed out too long that day.

On another twelve year old “Let's see how far we can get away with it” romp, Jim and I decided to go off into the woods after hearing nothing but warnings on how cold it would be. We wanted to see what it was like in the worst area, which was standing in the middle of a frozen lake with nothing to block the wind. In a way too, it was competition between us two. Who would chicken out first from the cold?

It wasn't bad actually. Sure, it was savagely cold but we lasted about an hour out there in the woods and ice before we became bored enough to walk back. What I discovered as a boy is that the animals, all of them, disappear. Even the birds hide and where I do not know. Also, the lake when freezing even thicker, makes this un-earthly sound as it contracts tighter. There were loud cracking sounds that boomed across the entire thing every now and then. Miniature ice quakes I thought. I heard what had to be frozen trees. They were so cold that the sap in them froze and cracked loudly when the wind shoved the limbs around. Strange sights and sounds. But that is what we wanted to know and see.

Walking home is where it hit us. We'd been out long enough to cool off some but then there was that added time needed to make it home, so we cooled further. I kept with my usual pig-headedness at stomping through the snow toward where we'd finally see some suburbia. Even then I was a tenacious little prick at times.

We made it out of the woods and then a little further we found a Friendly's Restaurant where we stopped just inside the door to warm up. A young teen waitress there asked us if we wanted a seat and we told her we had no money, just wanted to warm up. The girl then seated us and gave us free hot chocolate. She had asked us “Where were we? Why were we out on a day like this?” When we said we were standing on the middle of the Central reservoir, she seemed shocked. She rolled her eyes and mouthed “..boys”

Then she added:

“You know, if you two were GIRLS...you'd never leave the house today.”

“But we wanted to see what it's like...how it is out there when everything's negative 10 degrees.” I said.

“It's because you're BOYS...you have no common sense!” she repeated.

“I have PLENTY of common sense...and I got to see the wilds at their worst in the winter!” I thought.

So, tonight, it's headed down to below zero with the threat of nasty, skin freezing wind chills. I have enough experience with odd winter conditions, from that frozen reservoir, the Carrabassett Valley in Maine and freezing my nips off in Montreal one night to know what it's all about now. I did my tour and tonight I'm going to hibernate...and if need be, smack the wall with my hand to get the thermostat to come on.  

Falling Like a Rock