Battles with Oneself, Or, How Unmarried Guys Listen to No One But Themselves.

Two months ago I was at the dentist...surprise! It wasn't a new problem, just a crown that had fallen off that had lasted 20 years, which is a nice long time for a crown to last. The dentist thinks he can reshape the tooth and glue the crown back on. Great, this is what I wanted to hear.

But, as the dentist was drilling away, he stops. He then tells me he's drilling sooo close to the pulp chamber that the heat created by the drill bit might, might bake the tiny nerves and blood vessels in there. If so, the tooth will die. In order to re-cement the crown on, he HAS to shape the tooth by getting real close to that inner sanctum that keeps the tooth alive.

“I want to try it Ron, there's a 50/50 chance this will work.” So I agree and tell him to press on and he fixes it up nice. No problems!

Two months later... “Get me in! This tooth is screaming hot and my face is starting to swell up!” I'm nearly begging now.

I get in, right at 7AM, he X rays it and shows me how the pulp chamber did indeed die and how it's flowing down the root canal, settling down to the tips of the roots.

“That's what you're feeling. Your body knows there's necrotic tissue in there and is trying to clear it out. I bet there’s a lot of pressure in there now. Ah, it's too bad, I wanted to save that tooth too.”

So did I.

He made an appointment for an oral surgeon to get it out. But, lo and behold, the pain stopped a day later and I thought, “Hey, why lose this tooth now? I'll just keep ahold of it, use it for as long as I can.”

Well, that worked for about a month when it flamed up again, this time worse.

I didn't go back to my original dentist because I knew I'd get chastized for NOT taking care of it when I should have. Also, my plan of using the tooth “as long as I can” would be met with “Yeah...you can use it, but it's going to go eventually...you will LOSE. And all the while nursing a whomping toothache.” 

So, I didn't go back to my dentist but made my own appointment for the oral surgeon I was suppose to see a month earlier. The problem is that they're booked solid for a week.

“No! No I tell myself. I'm not giving into this! I can wait a week! I'm not caving in and running back to the primary dentist to write a script for Amoxicillin. I can tolerate this pain! I can tolerate the sharp ZING each time I eat a string of linguine!” Or so I try to convince myself.

I did well. I tolerated it. I patted myself on the back for being able to keep up with the pain. “It'll toughen me, like I used to ignore pain when younger.” I tell myself this. I grapple with my body's own immune system to see who will win. I won for four days before I broke down like a little girl and ran back.

My primary dentist was cool about it all. He said he wished I had come in earlier to get the script. No fuss or muss from him. The shot to my silly pride came from his dental assistant, Sue, who I’ve known now for 20 years.

“You know Ron...We try REAL hard here to get our patients to cooperate with Dr's orders and advice. You've could've avoided all that misery had you just called us sooner. “Yeah, I know” I am admitting defeat. “No, really...You think there's a reward for putting up with that pain? God...you men! She trailed off after sticking me with that barb.

Men like to think of themselves as independent, powerful, capable, competent and can managed to “fix anything.” It's what we do. It's how we're raised. But, I had this MOM there tear me down in seconds with her VERY correct appraisal of my silly stubbornness of not giving in and seeking help.

Driving back home, my brain chirps in; “Hey Ron...she's RIGHT you know!” I answer back, “Yeah...she was. But she managed to crush me in seconds!

“Of course she did, haven't you noticed by now that women can reduce men to a pulp at times? Even at your age? Hell, you NEEDED that!”

Pride. Stubbornness. A belief in, “I'm Right and Everyone Else is Wrong.” I'm not married and all it took was a dental assistant, a woman I don't live with, to pound some common sense into my head.