Navigating Life

The Deer Hunter is a great flick. It's also pretty brutal, especially those scenes where the the three friends are forced to play Russian Roulette. I saw it when I was fourteen and it took me years to pick up another moral from it. I guess it took some aging and maturing to even spot it.

The three friends, Michael, Steven and Nick show you three distinct responses to stress.

In the first hunting scene of the movie, Stan forgets to bring his hunting boots along an begs Michael for his second pair. Michael refuses and in doing so, changes a friendship. Michael waving a hunting cartridge, as an example, says to Stan, “Stan, you see this? This is this. This ain't something else... This is this.” Those few lines foreshadow why Michael was able to survive the hellstorm he was put through in Vietnam.

Michael could clearly see the situation around him. He didn't taint it with personal preferences or wishes nor did he flee from the facts before his face. Being able to do this allowed very apparent answers and “fixes” to show themselves to him.

Steven, after having his legs shot up and losing them, responds by becoming depressed and childlike. He hands over all his power and responsibility to the VA hospital he is living at. He lets them take care of him. He returns to being a child.

Nick, the one who shoots himself in the end, withdraws completely to numbness and then insanity.

Can you blame Steven or Nick? Probably not as it's damned hard to change your automatic and nearly unconscious response to huge amounts of stress. They panicked, thought emotionally and chose what seemed to always work for them before. These two, due to their knee jerk replies, blinded themselves to the better answers. But, it's a totally human thing to do.

So, which one are you? Which one am I? We're all three of those types. Though, Michael’s is obviously the better choice.

I can lay a safe bet none of us will find ourselves on the Mekong River being prodded by illiterate peasant soldiers to play Russian Roulette. But, we all have daily stresses in our lives, some huge and some chronic. So, how do you deal?

I'm not going to say I am Michael. I am all three. I'd like to be more like Michael and to tell the truth, and it may seem too simplified and naive, but learning “This is this” actually can help train you to see things as they are, which hopefully will allow the obvious answer to rise.

Why did I write this? I was tripping down memory land this morning about a fat, old butcher that I knew in my local neighborhood who would offer up tenderloins and advice. He was many years my senior as well. (Damn, I have a tendency to adopt “Dad's” wherever I go. Well, why not, those ahead of me in life can shout back and say, 'Hey! I've been where you are and can tell you which way to go!')

One day, I was walking by his shop, in a real pissy mood after dropping off my car at the mechanic's about a block from his business. Jack the Butcher spots me and asks, “What's bugging you Ronnie?” I tell him, I hate, just hate blowing money on cars.

“Well, it's part of life isn't it? There are things you must have and one of those things is a car.”

I tell him. “Yeah Jack, I do, but I'm still pissed off that this money has to be blown on that instead of things I would prefer it would be spent on.”

He then tells me, “Please get out of your head and look around you. Your car is BROKEN and you need it. What's the answer? You FIX it. Sure, it's a pain in the ass but what other option do you have? Also, why torture yourself ?”

He was right. Why add to the misery. Accept your circumstances, see them as they are and FIX it.

“This is this, this ain't something else...”

Click the pic and watch the scene till you get it!