Last night, I was talking to Don about
the schools we had gone to. He then was a bit surprised to find out
I went to Goff Jr High here in Pawtucket.
He asks, “My Mom taught at Goff.
What years did you go there?”
“1977-1979...what was her last name”
I ask.
“Mrs York.”
The name sounds awfully familiar to me.
I then ask him on a hunch if his Mom taught French classes. He said
she had. It then all came flooding back to me.
“You're Mom was
Mrs York? Wow, do I have a story about her!”
The guy looks at me suspiciously. I
then start the story by apologizing because it will involve sexual
references to his dear, Sainted Mother.
“I pulled a bit of a joke on your Mom
back then. She had set herself up for a joke and I leaped at it. I
knew I could get away with it because of a double entendre.”
I continue the conversation and explain
to him how the joke I pulled set itself up.
In French classes, you learn the verbs
by conjugating them. Here's an example.
The word “finish” in French is
finis. Here's how you conjugate it.
Je finis. Tu finis Il finnit (I
finish, you finish, he finishes)
Nous finnisons Vous finisez Ils
finnisent (We finish, you finish (formal) and they finish)
Do you remember how teachers would ask
a question to the whole class, and then pick out someone randomly to
answer it? Mrs York did that to me one Friday in that French class
of so long ago.
She was pacing back and forth in the
front of the class, firing questions out when she asks, “What does
the verb “venir” mean?” She pauses some and then looks at
me...”Ron?”
I knew the answer and I also saw a way
to goof on her as well.
Venir in French means to “come,” as
in “come here.”
So I answer her with a strong emphasis
on a particular word. I say, with all gusto, “It means to CUM.”
Come, cum...what difference is there in pronunciation? I could
totally get away with saying it. I sat there, looking innocent as
can be too.
You know when someone hears something
and they stall for a full, complete one second before they flow and
move on again? A fat pregnant pause? Mrs York sure paused. She stalled, pondered for that
full second at the way I answered the question, and went on with the
lesson. I secretly sat there trying not to laugh my ass off. Oddly
enough, none of the other kids in her class caught it. I guess it
being late Friday, they were all half asleep, waiting for the bell.
Don looks at me with the strangest
face. I then have to remind myself that I was talking about his Mom.
I then quickly have to explain the times and situation once again so
he doesn't feel too insulted.
“Hey, I was 14 then...there was no
attempt at besmirching your Mom, just a joke...”
He was OK once I reminded him.
But then he pulls out his phone and
starts texting.
“What's your last name again?” he
asks.
I tell him and guess exactly what he's
doing, he's texting his Mom this story.
“Hey, tell her I apologize!
Really...I mean it...It was just a joke, I was just a kid then.” I
say
After a few minutes, he hands the phone
to me. On it was this and sort of paraphrased.
“Ron! It's nice to hear from you
again. So you DID know what you were doing that day! It's ok, 14 year
old boys are allowed to say stupid things. I'm glad you met my son.
Wow, I can still remember you from 34 years ago. I hope you are
doing well!”
It really is a very small world!
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