Friday, February 15, 2013

Dirty Minded Young Teen






Last night, I was talking to Don about the schools we had gone to. He then was a bit surprised to find out I went to Goff Jr High here in Pawtucket.


He asks, “My Mom taught at Goff. What years did you go there?”


“1977-1979...what was her last name” I ask.


“Mrs York.”


The name sounds awfully familiar to me. I then ask him on a hunch if his Mom taught French classes. He said she had. It then all came flooding back to me.


You're Mom was Mrs York? Wow, do I have a story about her!


The guy looks at me suspiciously. I then start the story by apologizing because it will involve sexual references to his dear, Sainted Mother.


“I pulled a bit of a joke on your Mom back then. She had set herself up for a joke and I leaped at it. I knew I could get away with it because of a double entendre.”


I continue the conversation and explain to him how the joke I pulled set itself up.


In French classes, you learn the verbs by conjugating them. Here's an example.


The word “finish” in French is finis. Here's how you conjugate it.


Je finis. Tu finis Il finnit (I finish, you finish, he finishes)

Nous finnisons Vous finisez Ils finnisent (We finish, you finish (formal) and they finish)


Do you remember how teachers would ask a question to the whole class, and then pick out someone randomly to answer it? Mrs York did that to me one Friday in that French class of so long ago.


She was pacing back and forth in the front of the class, firing questions out when she asks, “What does the verb “venir” mean?” She pauses some and then looks at me...”Ron?”


I knew the answer and I also saw a way to goof on her as well.


Venir in French means to “come,” as in “come here.”


So I answer her with a strong emphasis on a particular word. I say, with all gusto, “It means to CUM.” Come, cum...what difference is there in pronunciation? I could totally get away with saying it. I sat there, looking innocent as can be too.


You know when someone hears something and they stall for a full, complete one second before they flow and move on again? A fat pregnant pause? Mrs York sure paused. She stalled, pondered for that full second at the way I answered the question, and went on with the lesson. I secretly sat there trying not to laugh my ass off. Oddly enough, none of the other kids in her class caught it. I guess it being late Friday, they were all half asleep, waiting for the bell.


Don looks at me with the strangest face. I then have to remind myself that I was talking about his Mom. I then quickly have to explain the times and situation once again so he doesn't feel too insulted.


“Hey, I was 14 then...there was no attempt at besmirching your Mom, just a joke...”


He was OK once I reminded him.


But then he pulls out his phone and starts texting.


“What's your last name again?” he asks.


I tell him and guess exactly what he's doing, he's texting his Mom this story.


“Hey, tell her I apologize! Really...I mean it...It was just a joke, I was just a kid then.” I say


After a few minutes, he hands the phone to me. On it was this and sort of paraphrased.


“Ron! It's nice to hear from you again. So you DID know what you were doing that day! It's ok, 14 year old boys are allowed to say stupid things. I'm glad you met my son. Wow, I can still remember you from 34 years ago. I hope you are doing well!”


It really is a very small world!

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