Once I was crazy and my
ace in the hole
Was that I knew
that I was crazy.
So I never lost my
self-control.
I just walk in the middle
of the road and
I sleep in the middle of
the bed.
I stop in the middle of a
sentence.
And the voice in the
middle of my head said
“Hey, Junior, where you
been so long?”
“Don’t you know me
I’m your ace in the
hole?”
Paul Simon
So what's your ace in the
hole? What's your talent that gets you through the day, through your
life? What's up your sleeve that works pretty much all the time?
Up until I was about eight,
I had none. Unless incurable cuteness is considered a talent? That I
could use but it was restricted to non-parental adults and that was
only if they were in a good mood. Try and get out of trouble on
cuteness alone after you've purposely sprayed the cat with a garden
hose.
Child psychologists stage
childhood development along milestones and phases. Erik Erickson's
“latency period” is also known as the “5-7” shift. By the
time you're 8, you've pretty much know what's right from wrong and
you are just starting to understand logic. Even the Catholic church
understood this for over a thousand years. You don't give a kid under
8 First Communion...he's not old enough to understand sin yet.
Erickson posited a question
that kids face at that age: “Can I Make it in the World of People
and Things?”
Can you? If you're reading
this, you must be able to...since you've made it this far. But we
all have a few personal tricks up our sleeves that work great.
I said I didn't have my Ace
in the Hole until I was 8. That's when I finally rocketed off with
my brain and learned how to properly use it. Things gelled, fell into
place finally. I'm no Einstein but I can be a smarty when in the mood
and if I know anything about the problem I face. It's never really
failed me. Usually it involves getting out of shitty situations,
finding landmines in life. Most of the time at least. It also alerted
me to ridiculously profitable situations that I abused silly.
Here's what I know of myself
today. I know my learning curve, when acquiring knew ways, looks
like this: Sorry for the shitty graphics.
I know myself enough NOT to
invest heavily in the beginning where I can lose dreadfully, like
learning how to use a band saw the very first time or bet my life
savings on a stock I know nothing about. The cost is a bit high if
you fail at the start. So I begin very slow with things that aren't
going to bite my ass too hard should I fail. As I go along, get
confident, I up the ante. Jumping into the deep end of the pool
might motivate me to the nth degree, but it does not guarantee I'll
learn the skills needed. There's not enough time.
The other Ace in the Hole I
like I can thank the deaf for and that's watching body language.
Since the deaf can't communicate via voice or hearing, they rely
heavily on vision. The deaf watch closely! Body language gives away
soo much it's amazing really. If you want a good deal from a car
dealer, take a deaf person along with you, they'll spot the lies and
manipulation in about 2.3 seconds. They're also great for sizing
your personality up in the same amount of time too. I've managed to
use this when needed and also use it as a needed weapon too. Think
I'm evil for using the Dark Side of it? Ha! ALL of you use your
personal skills in not-so-honorable ways. I know. You've used them on
me!
**
You've all seen this and
women are lucky because this skill is generally theirs, which is the
ability to flirt their way though. Since girls, from day one, are
taught interpersonal skills in depth, they whip any male out there
usually at this game. There are a few of boys who learn this but
examples are rare. They're also the cause why a lot women hate men.
These guys use that particular male charm to use, abuse and finally
burn out women to all men in general. I can think of a particular
lawyer I personally know who had a Genie's ability to charm the
panties off women. It was like watching a snake charmer play his
flute as the cobra came out of the jar. Though, these very women he
captivated hated his guts in about one week after they found out how
sly he was. But, these guys are rare and most of us boys still have
to be reminded to chew with our mouths closed.
At 18, I was once drawn into
a magazine subscription w/o my knowing it till a few hours later.
That's how slow I am at times. The salesgirl looked similar to
Kristy McNichol, which meant my brains oozed out my ears and within a
few minutes, she had my money and I had a subscription to Hod Rod
Magazine. I didn't like Hot Rods. I never even went to Seekonk
Speedway till I was 19 and that was to see the fireworks.
Her eye contact, the small
and subtly done compliments, the brush of her hand on my arm a couple
of times and I found myself cutting a check. Like I said, about an
hour later I sat there on my front steps, wondering “how the hell
she managed that?”
What a deadly combination,
to fall on the Earth pretty and with these people
skills. You should be outlawed! No fair in beating up on the weak!
How's this for an Ace in the Hole? The "Over The Shoulder Glance."
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