Sunday, April 26, 2015

Get a Clue, Little Shrew!

“Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.”

--Benjamin Franklin

I'd say they can stink after three minutes!



You'd think I would be happy with some girl throwing herself at me. Well, if I was an undiscriminating slut I suppose so. Just because you throw an anchovie/pineapple pizza at me, doesn't mean I'm going to eat it. I have preferences, tastes. And just because your female and your making it too damned easy for me to fish you out of the water, doesn't mean I'm going to tug on that line. I may like haddock but not rockfish. I ain't desperate enough to eat roadkill when I pass it on the highway. Some guys are though.

I was out, Friday night in some local joint in Rehoboth. This woman, near my age, starts to become friendly. Ok, fine. But as the hours wore on, she kept hitting on me heavier, like with a piece of re-bar from a concrete form. I wasn't in the least bit interested. In her mind, if I wasn't responding, it was because she wasn't trying hard enough. Solution? Turn up the volume.

In those situations where I wish to be left alone, I'll be polite but give one word answers, little eye contact and the usual coolish shoulder to nip in the bud any aspirations of the other. 99% of the time the other “gets it.” I get it too when I'm trying to work up a possibility and it's going nowhere.

This is called simple etiquette.

You'd think people reaching their 40's would have a clue about that. Ugh, I guess not all.

We were watching the Bruins lose unfortunately but before that, they had made a goal and this hard selling girl, uses the crowd's enthusiasm to spin around, give me a tight hug and bite my chest through two shirts I was wearing. I didn't expect that at all and it stung like hell.

She had immediately spun back to watching the TV in a second and she did not see the reaction on my face. A guy I didn't know at the table did though. My face said: “Jesus H Christ! That hurt.!” That then turned into a second darker look that said: “Get.the.Fuck.Away.From.Me.”

The message was just for her and it was strong on my face, but the concussion of it made the guy, who wasn't the target of my annoyance, spin around and not look at me another second. I scared him with it apparently. Collateral damage!

I really,really,really,really,really dislike anyone breaking into my personal space that haven't been invited there in the first place. It's like some stranger bursting through your front door and you think, “Gee, thanks for knocking!”

My coolish reaction to her did make her leave at times, but of course, she'd find new courage to tap into and have another go at it. Sigh...I'd have to use a woman's “Ice Princess” tactic each time to quench her little blaze.

She did finally leave me alone. By the end of the night, she had come by our table to pick up her jacket that was left there and I said “Goodbye” and she gave the most detestable looks you saw ever. It said, “I hate you for denying me my candy!”

I thought, “Too bad...you're outrageous performance really endeared you to me...didn't it?”

Later on a friend said. “Look, she's pushing 50 and for some women, they freak, they then get desperate and will use anything to get your attention. It's like someone clawing at you as they're drowning...no wonder you pushed her away. She's getting close to the age where the dating market has no use for her...”

I say,”Well, yeah in some cases. Other women her age actually do have some social skills though...That's was irked me the most...that 'barging in'...intruding...god how I hate that.”

He remarks, “You sound like your Dad.”


“Yep...parts of me did become him”  



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